


don't panic

by rollercoasters



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Heartbreak, M/M, Moving On, briefly mentioned characters - Freeform, unrequited nosung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 09:23:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18258434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rollercoasters/pseuds/rollercoasters
Summary: Jeno failed to notice the pain in Jaemin’s eyes.





	don't panic

**Author's Note:**

> so! ive been Sad and Angsty recently so welcome to a short ass fic that made me cry ! i literally wrote this in school and its hella short but thats chill!  
> i do want to trigger warn this fic!!! there are mentions and depictions of depression and slight eating disorders, so please dont read if those things trigger you!

Jeno had always been one of the most positive people Jaemin had ever known. When he met Jeno at the age of seven, he was drawn to the spark, the life, in Jeno’s eyes. Jeno’s eyes crinkled when he smiled—and he was always smiling. Jaemin loved—loves—that so much. He could fall in love with Jeno all over again staring at him smile. 

The first time Jaemin saw the sadness in Jeno’s eyes was when Jisung brought Renjun over to their table. It was lunch and Jeno had been happily chatting away with Donghyuck when Jisung plopped down at their table, eyes shining, with his arm wrapped around Renjun’s waist.

“Hey, guys,” Jisung said casually, like he hadn’t brought someone new to their table. Jaemin felt Jeno tense beside him.

“Hi? Jisung, who’s this?” Donghyuck asked. Jisung blushed, everyone could tell, and smiled bashfully.

“This is Renjun. He’s... a friend.” Jeno’s shoulders dropped slightly and he cleared his throat.

“Hi, I’m Jeno!” His cheerful voice was fake and Jaemin knew it. Jaemin always knew when Jeno was lying.

“I’m Donghyuck, this is Chenle. He’s emo, though, so ignore him.” Everything sounded like background noise, Jaemin barely comprehended the conversation the group had been thrown into. Everyone but him and Jeno.

Jaemin reached down to Jeno’s hand, which rested on his own thigh, and squeezed. Jeno flinched slightly, but after a minute, Jeno’s fingers intertwined with Jaemin’s. Jaemin ignored the way his heart kicked up and rested his head on Jeno’s head. They sat like that, not talking and lost in their own world, for the rest of lunch. Afterwards, Jaemin walked Jeno to his class and ruffled his hair before letting him walk into the classroom, leaving him alone in the empty hallways.

 

Jeno didn’t know when exactly he fell in love with Jisung—one day he just realized that he simply was in love with the boy. He told Jaemin first, and his best friend took it in stride. He teased Jeno about falling in love with the lanky boy he’d met in dance class a year ago who he complained about 24/7. The night ended with Jeno’s head in Jaemin’s lap, telling Jaemin how he hopes, someday, Jisung returns his feelings—Jeno failed to notice the pain in Jaemin’s eyes.

“He’ll fall in love with you, Nono. Who couldn’t.” Jeno believed him. Why wouldn’t he trust his best friend anyways?

 

Jaemin had to watch—tortured and gutted—as the spark in Jeno’s eyes died out over time. He had to watch as Jeno stopped eating, then had to watch as he ate too much one day and proceeded to throw up the meal because his body couldn’t handle it. Jaemin watched slowly as Jeno stopped smiling, even when it was just the two of them. He had to watch Jeno become a person he didn’t know and he had no idea what to do about it.

One day, Jaemin went to Jeno’s house after he hadn’t shown up for school, determined to cheer his best friend up.

Jeno’s mom let Jaemin in, but didn’t let him upstairs before telling him something.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into my boy, but, Jaemin, I know you. And I know how much you love him. Please help him.” Jaemin swallowed heavily and nodded, though he felt numb.

Jeno’s room was a mess—clothes thrown carelessly everywhere, his personal items thrown throughout the room, and then there was Jeno. Jeno who was lying under his covers, body shaking as he sobbed. Jaemin dropped his bag and lifted Jeno’s blanket, sliding in next to the boy. Jeno immediately stuck to his side, clinging onto Jaemin like his life depended on it. Jeno cried and cried and cried till his body couldn’t take it anymore and he fell asleep.

Jaemin ran his hand over Jeno’s body—one through his hair and one up and down his back. Jaemin missed the old Jeno, the Jeno who smiled carelessly and freely, the one who was happy. Jeno wasn’t happy, not anymore. Just more proof that Jaemin could never make him happy.

Jaemin didn’t realize he was crying till he sniffed and realized there were tears on his cheeks. He looked down at Jeno’s sleeping form and then outside. It was dark out, it was nighttime and he should go home.

But Jaemin is too in love with the boy in his arms to leave, so he shifts on his side and cuddles up to Jeno, falling into a dreamless sleep.

 

Jeno got better like how people recover from disasters, not like the fucking rainbow after a storm. It took time, love and care—from himself and from Jaemin.

Jaemin.

Jaemin had been there through every step of Jeno’s recovery from depression and heartbreak. Jaemin was the one to hold Jeno when he cried, was the one to give him reassuring words when he felt passed over, was the one to constantly be by his side, supporting him.

Loving Jaemin was different than loving Jisung. The only time the thought of Jaemin made him sad was when he wasn’t with him—when he was missing him. Jaemin was there, always there. Even if it was through text or call, he was there. When Jeno was getting through his depression, sometimes Jaemin would call him at night and sing him to sleep when Jeno was too restless with thoughts to sleep. Jaemin would stay quiet until he too fell asleep, always still on the phone with Jeno.

Jeno stared down at the screen and the typed out words stared back at him.

 

baby <3

i’m in love with you

 

Should he send the text? His mind raced, what if something happened to them? What if Jaemin fell out of love with Jeno and Jeno was left alone. Jeno knew if Jaemin ever left, that would leave him with a sadness he’d never be able to fill. Jeno didn’t think he could handle more heartbreak in the same twelve months.

But Jaemin loves him. Jeno knows Jaemin loves him—he’s proved it time and time again, especially the past few months. Jaemin loves him. Jeno knows he does.

With a beating heart, Jeno presses send.

 

acorn head

i’m in love with you too

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/jenobigpup)


End file.
